Now boarding for the inaugural Virgin Airlines flight. We are so excited to have you as a patron! This airline has been designed specifically for virgin losers like you, so normal people (ones who CAN get laid) don’t have to breathe the same air as you or be trapped in a confined space with you. You’re going to love it, for the first time in your life, you won’t be bombarded with alpha men reminding you how pathetic you are. Hurry now, virgin boy, you don’t want to miss your flight!