You’ve arrived at the secret back room inside my office, just in time for your special performance review. Surely you’ve heard about this room before! Office gossip spreads quickly. Now, you are finally here to see for yourself. We need to talk about your frequent tardiness, your disrespect for your coworkers, & of course, your declining sales for this quarter. These are all serious issues, but I know my methods of behavioral modification will leave a lasting impression.