I’m playing Super Smash Brothers on my 3DS when you decide to take out your cock, only for me to laugh at it. You think I’m supposed to be impressed with that? It’s pathetic and tiny. Your penis is inadequate in every sense. And, what, you’re trying to jerk off now? You can’t even do that right. I’m going to show you exactly how to stroke your minuscule baby penis and tell you precisely when to cum by counting down from 10.