Honey, it’s time we sat down and had a talk. You? Well, you are a total beta. You’re just so…. Average. Your job is dull, you’re terrible in bed, you’re just kind of, well, pathetic. I know I am out of your league. *Beyond* out of your league. Hush, I am not breaking up with you. I know that would ruin you, and I’m not cruel. I just know what I’m worth. I’ll indulge you in your fantasies, in your co-oital flopping. I’ll still be your arm candy, but it’s going to come with a stiff price. The best part is? I know you are more than desperate enough to pay it